My initial nursing experience

This was part of a letter I (Eilynn) wrote to my cousin and thought it would be great to post it up my blog since it may benefit other young mummys too.

I had a terrible experience of nursing for the 1st week or 2. I felt & smelt like a "COW" for at least the 1st month. Nurse, change diapers, put Shawn to bed, tried to catch some sleep and then the cycle repeats itself. It was horrible. Despite being taught by the nurses at the hospital, my beast feeding technique was just by chance. Sometimes I got Shawn to latch on properly, sometimes he was wailing away out of sheer frustration as he got nothing to drink. Because it was such a gamble, I decided to take the easy way out and pump out the milk. At least I thought at that time it was the easiest way out. How wrong I was.

It was not until a church member came and visited me that i shared my experiences and my set of frustrations with her. She immediately offered to give some advice and ask if I mind to show her how I nursed. I later found out that my technique of holding Shawn was all wrong. He had to be held in a position that his head was in a straight line with his spine. In order to do that, I needed to hold his head in the palm of my hand and bring it to my opposite breast. (Eg if I were to hold him in my left hand, he will suck from my right breast, and if I held him with my right hand, he will latch from my left breast). And because I held his head in my palm, I had to support his whole tiny body with the rest of my arm. I didn't need to use my other hand but if I needed the extra support, that's where the other hand comes in to cradle him.

This was the 1st technique that I needed to master, she told me firmly. It is only until I've mastered this that I could go on to experiment with other techniques, like the sleeping one and the rugby hold.

True enough to her words, after that 1st night, instead of having a 50-50 chance of getting things right, I slowly gain confidence and enjoyed my nursing time with Shawn. It was an enjoyable experience for me as a new mother and I am sure for him too. As we finally said goodbye to this routine after 17 months. It was a harsh one for him though...May write about my experience of weaning if the opportunity arises.

You see, pumping out was not a solution for us. Both Adrian and I would wake up every 2-3 hours throughout the night. He would feed shawn using the bottle while I quickly pump out milk to save and store for our next feed. And it was such a tiresome affair as both of us were exhausted after just a few nights. It was really pointless for him to wake up and feed him when I could actually do it on my own and save us alot of precious sleeping time. He was due to work the 11th day after I gave birth so I had to devise a new plan of feeding Shawn. I didn't want him to be exhausted until it affected his job and of course his patient will have to pay the consequences then. That was why I was so determined to get it RIGHT and time was running out!

Of course, initially he was quite accustomed to his milk bottle, that he didn't want to part with it. As I was very determined to nurse him for at least a year, I told myself that I will not let him get his way. I was engaged in battle with him whether he liked it or not. It was either I gave in to his crying or he couldn't stand the hunger pangs anymore and relented to latching on directly to my breast. That was my state of mind then. I was so fixed on my decision just as I was fixed on giving birth naturally if I could help it.

He put on a struggle with me for a good whole 6 hours but eventually gave up. And so that was my 1st parenthood "battle" with my newborn son. I heard later on that my fren had a similar situation and her son put on a good fight of 15 hours. So hang in there if you want to send your message out loud and clear on "Who's the Boss?".

After this episode, I felt so good. Not only did I give Shawn the best gift of all, I also saved thousands of RM from buying milk and of course the convenience tops it all. I could still catch my sleep and nurse him at night lying horizontally on my bed, nurse him whenever he wants (in malls, restaurants, church etc), not worry about hygiene (brought him to orang asli settlements near Kuching for a mission trip where some places didn't even have running water when he was 1 years old) or forgetting to pack enough milk, hot water or anything along when we went out (which was a frequent affair since we love to travel). We didn't need to change our plans just because we were parents. Instead we enjoyed exposing him to ppl, cultures and places.

I hope this humble experience of mine is able to encourage you on your journey too. Don't worry about whether you get it right the 1st time. It is the journey together that makes it all worth while. Enjoy parenthood. It is through motherhood that I rediscover myself. Take care.