To compromise or not...

I've been a mummy for close to 4 years now (since 2006 when I first knew that I was pregnant). And ever since then, my staple clothes were 2 pairs of yoga pants in black with coloured waistband which I bought from The Curve, 3 pairs of existing Reebok & Nike sweat pants in different colours used for my aerobic sessions and of course oversized T-shirts from my existing wardrobe or my husband's.

As I am rather petite in size, standing at only 155cm in height and weighing between 45-50kgs before marriage, my rather small stature continued throughout my pregnancy. I put on an additional 15kgs (mostly in my 3rd trimester) and was hovering in the mid 60s by the time I was due to give birth. As such my staples clothes served me well and I didn't burn a hole in my wallet or rather my husband’s on maternity wear. The occasional weddings & specials had me looking for empire tops in boutiques & shops to pair up with my ever ready black yoga pants.

Don't get me wrong...Not that I didn't try on any maternity wear back then, but because of my rather small frame, it tend to look sloppy on me. The nicer ones were of course overpriced. Anyway, I figured that the lack of clothing to wear would serve as a driving force for me to go back in shape. When I did return to my pre-pregnancy figure after about a year, I still couldn't wear all those lovely dresses draping the mannequin in the shop, not to mention the dresses hanging in my very own closet. Then, there were also sleep wears and sexy lingerie to sacrifice. The world seem to make sure you feel and look like a mummy with a capital M which is also synonymous to “aunty”.

As determine to get back in shape, I was also adamant about breastfeeding my children pass the 1 year mark. So again, no dresses until I’m done with nursing. I just had to settle with tops and bottoms for easy nursing. I finally wean my son when he was 17 months and that was because we were planning for another child. I was declared a “free person”; free from any dress restrictions I had earlier. But not for long…Soon after about 9 months, my belly started to bulge, again. I was about 3 months into my 2^nd pregnancy now. This time, things started to speed up. I started noticing the bump even at the end of my 1^st trimester.

Being more experience, I invested in maternity clothes this time. Not wanting to spend so much, I only bought items that were on sale, preferably with huge discounts. Needless to say, out of the 3 bottoms I bought, I only made full use of 1 – a denim skirt that have an expandable waistline with buttons at the side to grow alongside your belly. The rest were either frumpy or kept dropping off my belly, thus didn’t hold quite as well.

My weight gain throughout my 2^nd pregnancy, although fast in the initial stage started to slow down towards the end. In total, I gain about the same amount of weight as I did in my 1^st pregnancy.

After delivering my daughter, I started to source for fashionable nursing wear. I even made a trip to the Mum & Baby Expo 2010 in Mid Valley Exhibition Centre to see what I could buy. I tried on several brands mostly Western and they were all too big at the top for me. Most of the designs were either too low (to ease nursing I presume or to flaunt the bigger “asset” we now possess) or had a V-neckline which increases the chance for indecent exposures especially if you had a 2-going-to-3 year old ever so active son in-tow. As such, I gave it a pass and had to source for alternatives. That was when I stumble upon the Asian designers made for the Asian women in mind, fashionable, practical and above all decent.

Share with me about your fashion journey as a new mum, whether it is frustrating, successful or just plain boring. I would love to hear your comments and insights.

If you are looking for fashionable maternity and nursing wear, please feel free to browse around my page on Facebook - MOMS IN FASHION. Here is the link: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Moms-in-Fashion/127195970638819?v=photos&ref=ts#!/pages/Moms-in-Fashion/127195970638819?ref=ts

My journey towards cloth diapering...Moo Moo Kow Diaper Giveaway..

I have always wanted to contribute to the environment and am glad that finally the government has taken some actions regarding this...I fully support the "no plastic" campaign and can't wait for the day when there would be no plastic bags given out in shopping malls and such.

Taking a step further, I've set my mind to start on cloth diapering my 2nd child. Not only will it be better for the environment on the whole but also hoping that I could potty train her faster than Shawn. Its more time consuming and more work but I guess it's all worth it.

Adrian said I was obsessed when practically everyday he would find me sitting in front of the computer reading up reviews and write-ups on cloth diapers trying to find the best one that would suit my rather small-framed baby. There's so much to consider...first, what brand or type I want...then, it was the question of what's my budget...finally, it was getting the most out of my dollar or rather ringgit, which includes checking out promotions, sales and of course giveaways. This was when I stumbled upon 2 sites giving out Moo Moo Kow Cloth Diapers for free.

(Please go to www.moderncarino.com under the heading Moo Moo Kow Diaper Giveaway... or www.mummysreviews.com, Giveaway #4: Moms & Tots Cloth Diapers for more information)

Its a Singaporean brand but made in China and like most people I was skeptical about it. But after reading lots of postitive write-ups about it and also recommendation from my friend, I thought I should give it a fair trial. For me, my priority is that it should fit my rather petite baby snugly since my 1st child was only 2.91kg when I delivered him and is now 12.5kg at 2.5 years old. So being an asian brand and with 4 sizes, I'm quite positive that it should be a winner in terms of fitting.

Well, I will finally know the answer once I've tried it. There is no point in reading and reserching when there is no action of buying and finally giving it a try...You will never know the answer because all reviews are only opinions from other people. Everyone is entitled to his/her opinions. Every child is different and unique. Every person have different needs. So wish me all the best as I journey towards cloth diapering...

My initial nursing experience

This was part of a letter I (Eilynn) wrote to my cousin and thought it would be great to post it up my blog since it may benefit other young mummys too.

I had a terrible experience of nursing for the 1st week or 2. I felt & smelt like a "COW" for at least the 1st month. Nurse, change diapers, put Shawn to bed, tried to catch some sleep and then the cycle repeats itself. It was horrible. Despite being taught by the nurses at the hospital, my beast feeding technique was just by chance. Sometimes I got Shawn to latch on properly, sometimes he was wailing away out of sheer frustration as he got nothing to drink. Because it was such a gamble, I decided to take the easy way out and pump out the milk. At least I thought at that time it was the easiest way out. How wrong I was.

It was not until a church member came and visited me that i shared my experiences and my set of frustrations with her. She immediately offered to give some advice and ask if I mind to show her how I nursed. I later found out that my technique of holding Shawn was all wrong. He had to be held in a position that his head was in a straight line with his spine. In order to do that, I needed to hold his head in the palm of my hand and bring it to my opposite breast. (Eg if I were to hold him in my left hand, he will suck from my right breast, and if I held him with my right hand, he will latch from my left breast). And because I held his head in my palm, I had to support his whole tiny body with the rest of my arm. I didn't need to use my other hand but if I needed the extra support, that's where the other hand comes in to cradle him.

This was the 1st technique that I needed to master, she told me firmly. It is only until I've mastered this that I could go on to experiment with other techniques, like the sleeping one and the rugby hold.

True enough to her words, after that 1st night, instead of having a 50-50 chance of getting things right, I slowly gain confidence and enjoyed my nursing time with Shawn. It was an enjoyable experience for me as a new mother and I am sure for him too. As we finally said goodbye to this routine after 17 months. It was a harsh one for him though...May write about my experience of weaning if the opportunity arises.

You see, pumping out was not a solution for us. Both Adrian and I would wake up every 2-3 hours throughout the night. He would feed shawn using the bottle while I quickly pump out milk to save and store for our next feed. And it was such a tiresome affair as both of us were exhausted after just a few nights. It was really pointless for him to wake up and feed him when I could actually do it on my own and save us alot of precious sleeping time. He was due to work the 11th day after I gave birth so I had to devise a new plan of feeding Shawn. I didn't want him to be exhausted until it affected his job and of course his patient will have to pay the consequences then. That was why I was so determined to get it RIGHT and time was running out!

Of course, initially he was quite accustomed to his milk bottle, that he didn't want to part with it. As I was very determined to nurse him for at least a year, I told myself that I will not let him get his way. I was engaged in battle with him whether he liked it or not. It was either I gave in to his crying or he couldn't stand the hunger pangs anymore and relented to latching on directly to my breast. That was my state of mind then. I was so fixed on my decision just as I was fixed on giving birth naturally if I could help it.

He put on a struggle with me for a good whole 6 hours but eventually gave up. And so that was my 1st parenthood "battle" with my newborn son. I heard later on that my fren had a similar situation and her son put on a good fight of 15 hours. So hang in there if you want to send your message out loud and clear on "Who's the Boss?".

After this episode, I felt so good. Not only did I give Shawn the best gift of all, I also saved thousands of RM from buying milk and of course the convenience tops it all. I could still catch my sleep and nurse him at night lying horizontally on my bed, nurse him whenever he wants (in malls, restaurants, church etc), not worry about hygiene (brought him to orang asli settlements near Kuching for a mission trip where some places didn't even have running water when he was 1 years old) or forgetting to pack enough milk, hot water or anything along when we went out (which was a frequent affair since we love to travel). We didn't need to change our plans just because we were parents. Instead we enjoyed exposing him to ppl, cultures and places.

I hope this humble experience of mine is able to encourage you on your journey too. Don't worry about whether you get it right the 1st time. It is the journey together that makes it all worth while. Enjoy parenthood. It is through motherhood that I rediscover myself. Take care.

My Testimony

It was 25th November 2006 when I had an unusual dream. A dream that I didn’t realize would soon become a reality. I remembered waking up and messaging Adrian about it. These were my exact words, “Yesterday dreamt I was pregnant and gave birth to a baby boy. No pain only painful when breastfeeding. So cute. Eyes like yours. Very fair.”

I soon put it behind and forgot all about it. It was not until I missed my 2nd menstruation that the thought of being pregnant actually dawned on me. I kept thinking it must be the stressed from my ACCA exams.

As I reflect back, I praise God that He prepared both Adrian and I for parenthood through my dream. We didn’t plan to have any kids until a few years later. But God’s plan is perfect and He has His special way of reassuring us in taking up our new role as parents.

There were no complications throughout my 9 months pregnancy. But what I experienced was more emotional. I had to put aside my dreams of pursuing my career, hobbies and plans of traveling for awhile. We had to redirect our finances. Plans will have to change to incorporate a third person in out lives, such as our house and our schedule.

If it is not for the dream and Adrian being so supportive, I would have suffered more emotionally from negative thoughts. But God knows best and His timing is always perfect.

Looking back, now that Shawn is close to 10 months old, I thank God for His goodness. Having Shawn in our lives not only brought smiles and laughters to both Adrian and I, but have made relationships with my in-laws and parents even closer and stronger.

For those of you that know Shawn, you will be able to testify about his activeness. He even moves, lifting his bottom up and down when being nursed. But there’s just more of him to go around. At 6 months old, crawling is a breeze for him. And now at 10 months old, he’s walks across the room with ease. Feeding him has always been something I worry about constantly as he is almost at the malnutrition percentile. Because of his activeness, he doesn’t sleep a lot and thus getting fat is a struggle for both him and me. But that’s just him. I have to constantly reassure myself that as long as he is healthy, he is fine. I also have to remind myself to stop comparing him with other baby that sits in strollers or high chairs for at least half an hour. It’s just him and I learn and am still learning to accept him, to love him as he is and not to change him to suit my way…

Baby for sale!

Any1 wants to buy me?

Eilynn w Shawn

My (EiLynn) Journey into motherhood

Here's a very long version of my journey into motherhood...

I'm finally a mummy!!! I'm still in cloud 9 as I look down at baby Shawn seeing some resemblance of both Adrian and myself on his small face. The same kind I felt, when I just got married. Hmm, like you can't believe that your status has changed already.

It all happened so fast, no false labor or slight pain/contraction until that very morning. I even went out shopping eve of that day. My 1st sign was a few drops of blood the night before. I knew it would be soon, maybe a couple of days more. How very wrong I was. The very next morning, at 6.15am, I was awakened by a slight contraction. I waited till Adrian's alarm went off at 6.30. I also remember telling him to go to work first, thinking that maybe it was false labor since the pain was bearable. He gave me a check before going to work at 7, and found that I was already 4cm dilated. (Can actually admit to hospital by 3cm, where the Dr can start to administer drugs etc to help speed the labor process)

At that point, he started to panic, knowing that the time is very near. He calmed himself down by going out to get me "Wan Ton Mee" for breakfast which will be my last 'outside' meal for at least the whole entire month of August. By 8.30am, I admitted myself to a private hospital (Adrian doesn't trust public services), walking myself from the car park to the ward even though I was offered a wheelchair. (Ha ha, at that time, I didn't want to be seen as a weakling and I wanted to prove that I was still able to cope with the pain)

I went straight into labor room where a sister attended to me. She wasn't exactly a nice person, feeling agitated most of the time when I didn't understand her instructions. This was mainly due to my lack of exposure to some Cantonese terms, esp. medical ones. But her attitude defiantly took 180 degrees turn, when the question about Adrian's occupation popped up and that he himself checked my dilation. Quickly, she wanted to know whether he was a practicing O&G. And to think that I would be getting better service at a private hospital! What luck!

At the same time, outside, Adrian who was running around finalizing my admission, was getting a lousy treatment from a particular nurse. She even refused to let him enter the labor room initially, saying, "What’s the hurry? She won't be delivering so soon." It was then, that he told her off, saying, "I am a doctor. I have already checked her at 7 and she's 4cm dilated." Immediately, there was a change of attitude. He was allowed to enter and was being addressed Dr and by smiles.

Anyway, inside the labor room, the nasty sister took my medical history, BP, administer a solution into my anus to clear my bowels, and did a CTG for me (this is to monitor the fetal's heartbeat and movement during contractions for a period of time). By the time all this was done, it was already 10 and time for the Dr to do his morning round. I was told that the dilation increased only slightly, just a little more than 4cm. I was offered epidural (a spine injection that would be able to ease my pain without knocking me out unconscious) but I took a deep breath, and decided to brave it - telling myself that it's just another 5cm more. I think I’m more terrified by the thought of a needle going into my spine than the labor pain itself. Plus, the injection cost a bomb. Something like a thousand for a dose which can only last bout 2hours.

By noon, the nurse came in and this time offered me some painkillers. Turning to Adrian for advice, he said that this drug will make me sleepy and may cause the baby to go into distress. Hearing the side effects that it may have on baby Shawn, I decided to skip this one too, at least for the time being.

Since they were serving lunch, I decided to have lunch instead to get my mind off the pain. So in between my contractions, Adrian was feeding me rice with chicken, fish and vegetable, plus an apple for dessert too. Thinking back, it was rather hilarious. I was in pain, yet I still managed to eat my lunch.

By the time it was 1, I couldn't bear the pain anymore. I finally gave in. The nurse came to check on my dilation before allowing the painkiller to be administered. It was still barely 5cm. I was devastated. Thinking to myself, if this continues at this speed, I don't think I'll be able to last. I may have to opt for epidural or my worst nightmare, a c-section. I was then wheeled into the delivery room where I was again checked by yet another sister. This time I was told I was already 7-8cm dilated. We were relieved. Knowing that I only have another 2-3cm more, gave me the additional strength. Clearly, the initial result by the 1st nurse must have been wrong. Once the drug kicked in, I managed to power nap in between my contractions.

At around 2.10, I felt a strong urge to push, like I have to clear my bowels. I started to push whenever the contraction came as instructed by the sister, even before the Dr came. When the Dr arrived, he did an episiotomy (a cut made at the vagina to ease the baby out and to avoid a bigger tear). But since my lower portion felt like it was on fire, I didn't feel the cut. Maybe Adrian's distraction also helped. By the 5th contraction, it was finally over. Baby Shawn Yeo Wai Hoong came out at 2.33pm weighing 2.91kg, and measured 50cm. After that, I couldn't really remember whether I pushed or the Dr removed the placenta. But he did stitch me back up. This was nothing as compared to the pain I felt earlier. Plus, the amazing feeling of giving birth to my very own flesh and blood.

All glory goes to God!